pumpkin.

homecoming weekend was a blast. havent been that drunk in SO long, which is always a good time. i was the only roomate not to puke, besides jenna--you know here miss alki!

monday was just one of those weird days for me. i didnt want to get out of bed at all, so i didnt. haha i skipped my 11 oclock class, my 1 oclock (which doesnt take attendance, so it doesnt count to me) and i thought i would go to my 3 oclock health class, i walked all the way across campus to find a note on the door reading CANCELLED. yayyyy! came home and chilled with the girls, talked to my dad on the phone- which was really awkward cause its usually a really fake converstaion going something like this "oh schools great, just doing some homework, ya i miss you too, yes alot, ya just send me the tuition check, and ill see ya around christmas (ps-havent seen him since.. march!) okay dad i love you, i miss you too" but for some reason i hung up right after the word "too, ok bye" came out cause i just started balling. for the first time i actually realized how much i miss my dad. the dad i grew up with, not the man i know now- but the one that i knew before all the mess in my life happened with my family. whatever im not gonna sit and blog about how bad my childhood was, cause honestly i could write a book- and im not that person to sit around and dwell in my self pity about how shitty my childhood was, but before all that shit happened HE WAS THE COOLEST GUY EVER! i was the biggest daddy's girl ever, and i couldnt stand when anyone ever brought my dad down, like he was the fireman hero daddy that every girl wished they had! and for some reason i cant seem to find him anywhere. not in chicago, not in florida. not in a phone conversation. i feel like that guy doesnt exist anymore. my roomates told me that i should write him a letter and let him know how much i really hurt, knowing how selfish he is. ive heard the same shit over and over "ill come in and see eiu real soon, i mean i am paying for it!" YET, HE HAS YET TO SEE IT. and lacks the part of a father that actually cares. its okay i have mommy- who called me to let me know she filled my account with some cashola, and that i can make my monday night trip to walmart with the girls. we could prob feed a family of 20 with the amount of food we have in our pantry/fridge/and mini fridge.
couldnt fall asleep last night/nor this morning. actually fell asleep around 7:30 and woke up around 9. well i think 7:30, cause the last time i went to the bathroom was 7:20ish.

Tuesday- woke up today and had some cereal, which is odd for me cause i dont do breakfast, even though i know i should- APPLE CINNAMON CHEERRRRRRRRRIOS! :) angela picked me up and drove me to class, so nice of her. hey she offered. went to badminton, came back had lunch with jenna, went to dance class, came home and watched 'Charlie Bartlett' with jenna and meliss. Im smelling the aroma of garlic and teriyaki from melissa's dinner she cooked for herself. finally just getting to relax and continue on my new book. gonna make some of my new tea tonight. thanks stripes. P.S.- BINX went to the doctor, andhehas an upper respiratory infection, is on antibiotics *thank god, he will finally stop sneezing* and then can finally be declawed. :) yayyy no more ruining our couches. but the little guy is asleep next to me, what a sweeeetie.

gonna carve my pumpkin tonight. i was reinacting the family at a pumpkin patch last night when i got my pumpkin. brandon would be kicking the pumpkins, i would be choosing the most round and perfect one, and steven would be up my mom's ass like MOMMMMY LOOK AT MINE! and dad would be ... AT THE FIREHOUSE! BUT... btw my pumpkin is just how i liked it to be when i was yiddle. perfect height, color, and no bruises or dirt spots. give me some ideas as to what to carve it into ! :)

ahhh that feels good to get it all out. KELLY CLARKSON CONCERT IN 3 DAYS! hollllaz!